Road Rage Diaries: What NOT to do in Traffic

Traffic is the bane of my existence, I cannot further emphasize this point.  Being stuck in traffic makes me cranky and very irritated all day especially when I'm driving myself.  Argh!  I hate traffic!  I'm stuck in traffic almost everyday even on the weekends; especially on the weekends.  Saturday evenings are the worst!  I think I'm experienced enough to give advice on what to and what not to do when you're in traffic. To be honest when you're in traffic there's only so much you can do: Try not to go crazy.

Moving on to what not to do:

• Don't pick your nose:  Other people may be watching you because like you they're bored.  Once in traffic, I saw a well dressed man (suit and all) pick his nose,  how he dug for that gold!  I was scared blood would gush out of his nose!  All the same I was cheering him on!  It was like a slow motion movie, I was entranced and so was everyone else watching.  After a few seconds, he hit the pot of gold, carefully guided it out of his nostril, carefully positioned it on his finger, carefully inspected it and proceeded to carefully eat it.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! 

• Don't make any sudden moves:  You shouldn't make any sudden moves because when there's a traffic jam, millions of hawkers appear from nowhere!  You'd think they hide behind trees or something!  The ratio of hawkers to cars is 5:1 (of course I'm exaggerating but you get the picture).  If you make any sudden moves hawkers will pounce on your car like a lion pounces on it's prey.  You will have a hard time politely nodding no to each of them trust me (been there).  Some will even start to cuss you out and I understand them, you made them sprint in the heat to your car with that driver-taking-money-out-of-bag false move you just pulled.

• Don't make eye contact:  There are two groups of people you should NEVER make eye contact with in traffic.  Well you can if you want to; be prepared to face the consequences of your actions.  The first group is people standing at bus stops.  You shouldn't make eye contact because 1. you may see someone you know and be forced to give them a lift and if you're not going their way you may be forced to go out of your way.  2. And how about the forced conversation?  I don't know if this happens to only me but when I give someone a ride I feel like I MUST entertain them and be a good hostess by engaging in conversation when I don't even want to.  The second group is beggars.  The thing about this group is when you look you give them false hope that you are going to give them some money which is mean and unfair to them.  It's like holding a bone out to a dog and when the dog comes to get it, it realizes it's not a bone but a plastic bottle or something.  If you have no intention of giving, don't look and smile and let them crawl or walk unsteadily all the way to your car only for you to smile, turn and pretend they're not at your window.  That's mean and stupid.

• Don't drive too close to the car in front of you:  There is the tendency to drive a tad bit too close to the car in front of you (bumper to bumper).  There are many reasons why you shouldn't do it 1. That car may stop and you'll find it hard to steer into the next lane. 2. You may not be paying attention and you WILL hit the car in front of you when you suddenly jerk awake from sending that text message and falsely think the queue is moving. 3. It's annoying to the driver in front of you especially if that driver is me.

Alrighty guys these are my top DON'Ts in traffic.  I will write another post soon on the DOs.

Road Rage Diaries: Speedy Gonzales

Ever have one of those days at work where the whole day came so fast then just as you're packing and getting ready to leave you get work handed to you? Ugh! I'm saving the swear words. No, I'm not. I'm cussing my life away right this minute. In my head of course. Ugh. If I had a gun I'd shoot myself in the head. That's how irritated I am. (Random rant!)

Moving on, do you know what I hate more than traffic when I'm trying to get to work? People who think they're smarter than everyone else and just drive on the wrong side of the road (usually towards on coming traffic) flashing their traffic indicators and sometimes even more annoyingly talking on their mobile phones or even worse looking like they are not in a hurry! I just want to pull my hair out and chase these people. Not to say anything of course, but to get out of the queue too *smirk*! Police and army officers are the worst offenders, followed by nobodies who think they are somebodies because sometimes, just sometimes, these nobodies are driving posh cars. To be honest, you have no business driving on the side where everyone can see you if 1. your car isn't posh and 2. if you won't drive fast and 3. it's just against the law.  Kinda like an ugly, slow moving car overtaking. Not a pretty sight. Don't do it.

I'm not sure if the police officers and nobodies have more important things to do or more important places to go than everyone else. If they do, I suggest they wake up early and leave home early like everyone else since no one is above the law in this country (apparently). Even school children wake up at 4am to get to school on time. You'd think grown ups and people supposedly meant to uphold the law will know better.  With the accident rates in this country these "grown ups" who are in more of a hurry than anyone else should if not for the sake of their own safety think of other road users like me! They drive by the sides so fast or so slowly and expect everyone at the intersection to just stop while they cut across.  Mind you, most of them are not wearing seat belts while they commit these atrocities. *rolling my eyes*

One of the police cars I have been noticing is a Hyundai i10.  It's a SWAT car which whizzes by like the speed of light.  Yes, a Hyundai i10 as a SWAT car with two burly police officers fighting to see who can occupy more space in the car. So the Ghanaian police force's SWAT team will protect us from armed robbers and such using this Hyundai i10?  I'm not saying it's a bad car but come on, you'll think a SWAT car will use a more powerful car. It's a very funny sight and whenever I see that little car absolutely nothing can spoil my mood hahaha! If you want to drive recklessly please police people not with a Hyundai i10.  We do not need to be reminded of the horrible road accident statistics in this country because frankly we all know that SWAT car will not survive.  Also, some of us are too young to die because of someone's reckless, careless behavior *rolling my eyes*

Leave home early, period! Or do what I do: Keep cool on the outside and seethe on the inside.